Boston.Com Love Letters - My Boyfriends Hot, I'm Not
The Question
Dear Meredith,
I have been dating my boyfriend for about two years and everything is great — except there is a large disparity in our attractiveness. Ever since we started dating, I’ve been concerned because he is a lot more conventionally attractive than I am and it makes me feel very insecure. At first I was surprised that he continued to date me, and I was even more surprised when the relationship became more serious. My biggest fear is that someone will push him to “do better.” . Do you think it’s possible that similar level of attractiveness can be just as important as other issues people say are important to long-lasting relationships, such as similar beliefs and values? Will this issue ever go away for me? I don’t like feeling like the ugly duck. Your advice is very much appreciated!
– Not a Swan, Boston
The Answer
A:You are so obsessed with looks that you neglected to tell us anything about your relationship with this man. Do you share a similar sense of humor? Do you have fun together? There’s probably a long list of reasons why you make a good couple, but you’re too focused on his hotness to make them known. dud. If your boyfriend is into you, likes being with you, and wants to be naked with you, all you have to worry about is not being a dud. And frankly, if you continue to obsess over looks, that’s just what you’ll become — a boring person who’s more shallow than her hot boyfriend.
My advice? Live the dream. Stand tall with your hot boyfriend. Adore him and love him, and if someone gives you a questioning look, shoot a look back that says, “Yes he is, and yes we did. Last night. And it was amazing.”
Readers? Have you ever dated someone who’s more attractive than you? Did it mess with you? Would his friends really tell him find someone better looking? Will this ruin the relationship?
– Meredith
El Pres Answer
Dear Not A Swan,
I hate to break this to you but your boyfriend is gay. That’s not an opinion. That’s a fact. There is no straight dude in the history of straight dudes who willingly dates a chick uglier than him. Chicks will sometimes slum it for personality, sense of humor, money etc. Guys don’t do that. Guys will date absolute lunatics with horrific personalities if they have a great ass. So you are clearly a beard. He’s getting a ton of dick at the Ramrod on the side. Like I guarantee you if you swing into Jacques late night you’ll see him chopping it up with trannies and shit. It’s not the worst thing in the world though. You get to have a hot boyfriend. Who cares if he take it in the ass. Still probably better than dating a gross dude because you’re gross.
*The only caveat to this is if you’re super rich or something and this guy is marrying you for your money and then just getting pussy on the side. But you didn’t mention that and I got to assume nobody could be that dumb to not realize that could be a factor so I’m sticking with the gayball theory.